The Elastoplast Error

Yesterday, I had a dinner party. When I was preparing the food, I accidentally stabbed myself with a metal skewer and it made a small hole in my arm. Then I decided it would be nice to have some flowers at the table so I popped out to the florist, and when I picked up a bunch of roses a thorn punctured my finger. When I got home, I realized I had left my pet rabbit out in the garden. He only has one tooth, and when I tried to pick him up, he bit my leg and drew blood the sly dog. In my surprise, I stepped backwards and I stood on a wasp which in turn stung me (fair enough). Then I decided I needed to write something down but I fell over whilst I was carrying my pen and the nib pierced my stomach. All in all, it wasn’t the most successful day, but I survived.

None of the above actually happened (nor do I own a rabbit with one tooth), but I just thought I would provide a list of the individual uses of the small, round plasters that you get in your average multipack. Those were the only possible causes I could think of that might benefit from such an insignificant band-aid. The ratio of normal plasters to entirely impractical sticky circles is all wrong. I am no mathematician, but I can guarantee that the majority of the cases listed above are unlikely to happen that often, and if/when they do, the average wo/man will survive without the aid of a ‘waterproof’, ‘natural-coloured’ plaster. You can observe this for yourselves now by simply looking in your designated plaster storage space and working out the ratio of useful:useless plasters. In short, I think I speak for the nation when I say I rather think they're a waste of time and we'd be better off sticking them together and getting two extra big plasters per box.