Things that are better left unsaid

Unnecessary apologies/questions. It’s quite annoying, because invariably, they are actually necessary. But honestly, nobody needs you to apologize for apologizing, nor are they going to deny you access to their toilet.

The news. I was going to list some of the negative headlines of the day, but it would take me too long. Instead, I will tell you the slightly more light-hearted ones… A man was bitten at a Russian council meeting (by another man, I assume). And an “exquisitely preserved” mammoth has been found! On the downside, it was killed by man. I will admit that I struggled to find anything positive (although there was a behind the scenes video of the new James Bond film). If I’m going to be honest, I think I’d rather remain ignorant from now on.

When my outfit doesn’t look good. If I ask for advice, I generally accompany the question with “be honest”. Well don’t. Honesty is brutal.

The ingredients of pate. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the thoughts of what it contains mid-mouthful. But it just tastes so goooood. I also do not know why supermarkets feel inclined to emblazon the front of every packet of food with a pie chart of red telling you how bad it is for you.  

When I’m about to eat another biscuit and somebody chimes in with, “are you sure you need that?” Yes, I’m quite sure thank you. hateyouhateyouhateyouhateyou.

When my grandmother asks me why I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t want to hear the question, and I don’t want to hear the answer.

Anything that could be replied to with, “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”. It inevitably leads to a heated debate about a child’s rights and a parent’s responsibilities. (I hope you’re reading this Mum)

That Angelo’s isn’t up the stairs. I was incredibly excited to watch Channel 5’s Summer Bay Reporter (a VIP access behind-the-scenes tour of Home and Away) when it was advertised a while back, but couldn’t actually bring myself to watch more than the first ten minutes because it quite literally shattered my illusions/hopes/dreams. I only got as far in as the bit where it was revealed that Angelo’s pizza restaurant wasn’t actually up the stairs from the Juice Bar/gym – it was merely a set designed to fool faithful viewers into thinking that these places really exist. I then decided that this programme was not for me. I also recently discovered that Summer Bay is a “mythological” town that doesn’t exist. Moral: The world is a dangerous and untrustworthy place.