Window(s) Shopping

Oh the woes of student life. The benefits of having an overdraft are all fun and games until your overdraft runs out, and I have had to hide this fact from my parents for basically the last 4 months, living in the constant fear that they are going to bring up money/how much I (don’t) have/how much I owe them. When I suggested to my mother only last week that I thought it was actually rather impressive that I had survived all summer living out of my overdraft with no others means of income, I was met with a very scary pair of eyes and a tone of voice that in turn suggested to me that she was in no way in agreement with this, and terribly shocked that I was so thrilled with such a realization, no matter how willing I was to justify myself. I must admit, the confidence I had instilled in my argument was somewhat thwarted about three seconds into the conversation (if you could call it that).

Money doesn’t buy happiness. A philosophical piece of shit we are all familiar with, I believe. Money is everything. Money and lack thereof, is what sites like Facebook THRIVE off. Everyone has something better to do than Facebook. Unless you don’t have any money, in which case it is pretty much the only thing you CAN do. Possibly the only thing more depressing than window shopping and refreshing your Facebook homepage perpetually, is what my sister referred to today as “Window(s) shopping”; the worst of the worst. And I am a frequent offender. When I can’t afford free parking (see previous blog), I am confined to the house making lists of all the clothes I would try on were I in a physical, 3-dimensional world. I could probably draw you pictures of all the dresses currently stocked in Topshop, so many times have I looked at that page in the last week. I have reached my pinnacle now though. The “New In” sections are no longer new to my eyes, reminding me most cruelly of my failing social life. Today, I even thought about starting to read the seventeen books I’m supposed to have read by next Monday. Naturally, procrastination –the little devil- got in my ear and instead of actually reading anything, I made a list of all the books and how many pages they had to try and help me decide which one to read first. I have now read the first page of three separate books and promptly gave up. I digress. This is beside the point. The point is that I need to find a way to either a) get money or b) get over money. Money is only everything if you are too lazy to make it nothing. Unfortunately, I am currently too lazy to make it nothing, but admitting you have a problem is the first step. That’s enough for today.